Sunday, April 03, 2005

Bovine 3000

My favorite April Fools article of the year has to be Extreme Tech's Bovine 3000 custom computer build. The article is a self parody of their already off the wall build-it case mod series of articles where people build motorcycle computers or bike computers. To notch up the absurdity in honor of April Fools this build will turn a cow into a computer.

We ultimately went with the Guernsey, for its competitive dairy output volume, and its reputation for producing high-butterfat, high-protein milk with a high concentration of betacarotene.

We initially planned on using a Holstein cow, but we got significant pushback from the cows we approached about this project. Most cited ill will toward the PC industry owing to what the cows termed "inbovine" treatment by Gateway during some of its marketing promotions in the 1990's. We also briefly considered the Milking Devon, but its pointy horns made us reconsider.

Initially we were going to opt for the Killer Gaming Rig set of components in the Bovine 3000, but the thermal output irritated the cow's skin too much, so we went with more modest components. We were even going to use integrated graphics, but the cow protested, because it likes playing 3D shooters. Apparently this particular cow has a real jones for CounterStrike Source and goes by the handle "M3anT3at."

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